He dragged a heavy photo-editing suite (a .exe that should have crashed his phone) onto the desktop. It opened instantly. The "best" version of this software seemed to bypass the laws of mobile processing power.

: A popular Windows emulator for Android that allows running some PC games and apps.

Here is everything you need to know about the best tools, safety practices, and installation steps for running Windows apps on Android. Top Windows Emulators for Android

Obtain a safe version, such as the one from the Itch.io or Archive.org links.